COFFEE RIDDLES

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Coffee
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1. Why did the espresso go to therapy? Because it was feeling a little latte.

2. What do you call a sad cup of coffee? Depresso.

3. Why don't coffee beans like to talk about themselves? Because they're always roasted.

4. What do you call an Australian coffee brewer? A downpournder.

5. How do you know if you've had too much coffee? You're shaking like a bean in a can.

6. What do you call a lazy coffee maker? A drip off.

7. Why did the coffee file a police report? Because it got mugged.

8. What did the coffee say when it was feeling overwhelmed? "I can't espresso how I'm feeling."

9. I don't always drink coffee, but when I do, I prefer to grind it myself.

10. Why did the coffee go to the doctor? Because it was feeling roasted.

11. What do you get when you cross a Jedi with a cup of coffee? A force brew.

12. Why did the coffee break up with the tea? Because it found a steamier partner.

13. What's a pirate's favorite type of coffee? Aaaaargh-presso.

14. How do you know if a coffee is religious? It goes to church 7 days a week.

15. Why did the politician switch to decaf? He didn't want to be jittery in front of the voters.

16. What do you call a cat that loves coffee? A java-lover.

17. Why did the coffee take a road trip? To see the bean fields.

18. What do you call a coffee-drinking detective? A brew-sleuth.

19. Why don't vampires drink coffee? It keeps them up all night.

20. How does a coffee bean compliment its friend? "You brew-tiful."

21. Why was the coffee so popular in high school? Because it brewed just right.

22. What do you call a coffee that's scared of heights? A low-altitude brew.

23. Why was the coffee always late? It liked to brew up some trouble.

24. What do you get when you cross a coffee with a math class? A latte problem.

25. What does a coffee call its friend who always forgets their wallet? A beans mooch.

26. How did the coffee bean find a relationship? It ground out the perfect match.

27. Why did the coffee go to the gym? To work on its latte muscles.

28. What did the doctor prescribe for a coffee addiction? A venti-step program.

29. Why did the coffee go to the airport? To get a double shot of espresso.

30. What's a carpenter's favorite type of coffee? A saw-nay brew.

31. Why did the coffee need a social media account? To bean-stalk its friends.

32. What do you call a coffee that's always running late? A slow-brew.

33. What did the coffee say to the donut? "You're the cream in my coffee."

34. Why did the coffee go to the party? It was ready to brew down.

35. How does a coffee ask for a raise at work? "I bean hoping for a bigger salary."

36. What do you call an eco-conscious coffee drinker? A sustainable sipper.

37. Why did the coffee refuse to jump on the bandwagon? It preferred to brew its own path.

38. What did the caffeine addict say when they couldn't find their mugs? "I'm losing my cup-acity."

39. Why do coffee beans have trouble making friends? Because they're always roasted.

40. Why don't aliens drink coffee? They prefer a little more space in their beverages.

41. What does a coffee say when it's feeling dramatic? "I'm a grande damsel in distress."

42. Why did the coffee join a dating site? It was looking for a steamy connection.

43. What do you call a coffee that runs marathons? A Perk-Up Sprinter.

44. How does a coffee make plans with a friend? They sips on it.

45. Why did the coffee go to the opera? To hear the high bean vocals.

46. What does a coffee say when it comes across a perfect match? "This brew-tiful moment is just icing on the cake."

47. Why did the coffee refuse to apologize? It brewtally honest.

48. What did the coffee say to the muffin? "We're the perfect blend."

49. How does a coffee like to travel? Shots, shots, shots.

50. Why did the coffee decide to start a business? It was tired of giving its brew away for beans.
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