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Riddles and Answers © 2024
If you appreciate a good dirty joke, you are assuredly in the right place. A majority of these funny riddles about lawyers contain adult humor and therefore are only for adult eyes. Do not worry; there are also a good amount of clean questions related to lawyers that lie in this selection.
If you are ready to get going, a very impressive group of lawyer riddles awaits you. We hope that you enjoy and share these with anyone who will also get a kick out of them.
Football Judges Riddle
Hint:
A Widow's Sister Riddle
Hint:
Of course not. If he has a widow then he's dead. And dead people can't get married. Did you answer this riddle correctly?
YES NO
YES NO
Defendant Under Oath Riddle
The defendant testified, "The attorney is my brother," but the attorney took the stand and denied having a brother under oath. Who is lying?
Hint:
Neither one of them lied. The defendant was the attorneys sister. Did you answer this riddle correctly?
YES NO
YES NO
IQ Of 50 Riddle
Hint:
Attacking Lawyers Riddle
Hint:
Something To Have But Nothing To Lose
Hint:
Lawyers And UFOs
Hint:
Learning To Suck Blood Riddle
Hint:
Vacationing Lawyers Riddle
Hint:
Because theyre used to doing all of their lying indoors. Did you answer this riddle correctly?
YES NO
YES NO
Dead Lawyers Riddle
Hint:
Good And Great Lawyers Riddle
Hint:
A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge. Did you answer this riddle correctly?
YES NO
YES NO
100 Lawyers Riddle
Hint:
A Lawyer And God Riddle
Hint:
Accountants And Lawyers Riddle
Hint:
Creating Lawyers Riddle
Hint:
Post Your Lawyer Riddles Puns Below
Can you come up with a cool, funny or clever Lawyer Riddles of your own? Post it below (without the answer) to see if you can stump our users.
1. What do you call a lawyer who can't argue anymore? A legal briefcase!
2. Why did the lawyer wear a look of relief? He finally passed the BAR exam!
3. How do you make a lawyer smile for a photo? Just say "fees"!
4. What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 75? A senator!
5. How do you know a lawyer is lying? Their lips are moving!
6. Why did the lawyer cross the road? To get to the bribe on the other side.
7. What do you call a lawyer who can't swim? A sinking filing cabinet!
8. Why do some lawyers wear two neckties? To keep their heads from falling off!
9. Did you hear about the lawyer who quit the profession to become an artist? He said he finally found a way to escape the billable hour.
10. How can you tell if a lawyer is happy? Their client just won the case!
11. Why did the lawyer join a gym? To reduce their notebook!
12. Why did the lawyer throw their clock out the window? They wanted to see time fly!
13. What do you call a lawyer who never laughs? A judgmental jester!
14. Did you hear about the lawyer who sued their own law firm for malpractice? They said the firm was guilty of improper billing!
15. Why did the lawyer bring a ladder to court? They heard the case was about higher law!
16. Why did the lawyer bring a skunk to court? They wanted to show the judge what a contempt defense looks like!
17. What do you call a lawyer who just can't win? A champion of lost causes!
18. Why did the lawyer stand up in the middle of the jury deliberation? They wanted to raise a point of order!
19. Why did the lawyer have nightmares about their client's case? They were afraid of a judgment day!
20. How do you make a lawyer's birthday extra special? Just give them a subpoena-cake!
21. What do you call a lawyer who practices environmental law? An ambulance chasing biodegradable advocate!
22. Why did the lawyer take up beekeeping? They wanted to see what swarms of litigation look like!
23. What do you call a lawyer who can't keep secrets? A briefcase snitch!
24. Why did the lawyer get kicked out of the basketball game? They kept shouting "objection"!
25. Why was the lawyer in the zoo? They were studying the laws of nature!
26. Why do some lawyers carry around a plant? They like to have their own personal brief-seeding!
27. Did you hear about the lawyer who opened a soup kitchen for their clients? They called it "The Bar and Bailout"!
28. How do you make a lawyer's phone ring non-stop? Just put them on the judge's speed dial!
29. Why did the lawyer become a comedian? They finally found an audience that laughs at their jokes!
30. What do you call a lawyer with no clients on Christmas? Lonely clauses!
31. Why did the lawyer get a job at a brewery? They found out they can argue with spirit!
32. What do you call a lawyer who gets lost in the courtroom? A legal-oh-no!
33. Why did the lawyer join a karaoke bar? They wanted to make legal briefs sound like hit songs!
34. Why did the lawyer refuse to answer their phone? They were afraid of being served with a sandwich!
35. How do you make a lawyer run for the hills? Just shout "contempt of court"!
36. Why did the lawyer go to the amusement park? They wanted to experience the thrill of the fine-line!
37. What do you call a lawyer who gets sued by their own client? A pearl necklace witness!
38. Why did the lawyer choose to go to space? They heard the laws of physics are the best defense!
39. Why do some lawyers wear gloves in the courtroom? To avoid getting finger-pointed!
40. What do you call a lawyer who moonlights as a grocery clerk? A legal checkout!
41. How do you know a lawyer has a guilty conscience? They always duck behind the bar!
42. Why did the lawyer get reprimanded by the judge? They were caught trying to give their testimony a spin!
43. Why did the lawyer get lost in the desert? They forgot to bring their Bill of Rights!
44. Why do some lawyers hand out candies in court? To sweeten the judge's verdict!
45. What do you call a lawyer who hikes up a mountain? A legal peak performance!
46. Why did the lawyer sign up for a dance class? They wanted to make legal moves!
47. How do you make a lawyer cry? Just show them a touching closing argument!
48. Why did the lawyer take up pottery? They finally found a purpose for torts and contracts!
49. Why did the lawyer become a magician? They discovered a way to make legal fees vanish!
50. What do you call a lawyer who takes their dog to court? A writ of barking!
1. What do you call a lawyer who can't argue anymore? A legal briefcase!
2. Why did the lawyer wear a look of relief? He finally passed the BAR exam!
3. How do you make a lawyer smile for a photo? Just say "fees"!
4. What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 75? A senator!
5. How do you know a lawyer is lying? Their lips are moving!
6. Why did the lawyer cross the road? To get to the bribe on the other side.
7. What do you call a lawyer who can't swim? A sinking filing cabinet!
8. Why do some lawyers wear two neckties? To keep their heads from falling off!
9. Did you hear about the lawyer who quit the profession to become an artist? He said he finally found a way to escape the billable hour.
10. How can you tell if a lawyer is happy? Their client just won the case!
11. Why did the lawyer join a gym? To reduce their notebook!
12. Why did the lawyer throw their clock out the window? They wanted to see time fly!
13. What do you call a lawyer who never laughs? A judgmental jester!
14. Did you hear about the lawyer who sued their own law firm for malpractice? They said the firm was guilty of improper billing!
15. Why did the lawyer bring a ladder to court? They heard the case was about higher law!
16. Why did the lawyer bring a skunk to court? They wanted to show the judge what a contempt defense looks like!
17. What do you call a lawyer who just can't win? A champion of lost causes!
18. Why did the lawyer stand up in the middle of the jury deliberation? They wanted to raise a point of order!
19. Why did the lawyer have nightmares about their client's case? They were afraid of a judgment day!
20. How do you make a lawyer's birthday extra special? Just give them a subpoena-cake!
21. What do you call a lawyer who practices environmental law? An ambulance chasing biodegradable advocate!
22. Why did the lawyer take up beekeeping? They wanted to see what swarms of litigation look like!
23. What do you call a lawyer who can't keep secrets? A briefcase snitch!
24. Why did the lawyer get kicked out of the basketball game? They kept shouting "objection"!
25. Why was the lawyer in the zoo? They were studying the laws of nature!
26. Why do some lawyers carry around a plant? They like to have their own personal brief-seeding!
27. Did you hear about the lawyer who opened a soup kitchen for their clients? They called it "The Bar and Bailout"!
28. How do you make a lawyer's phone ring non-stop? Just put them on the judge's speed dial!
29. Why did the lawyer become a comedian? They finally found an audience that laughs at their jokes!
30. What do you call a lawyer with no clients on Christmas? Lonely clauses!
31. Why did the lawyer get a job at a brewery? They found out they can argue with spirit!
32. What do you call a lawyer who gets lost in the courtroom? A legal-oh-no!
33. Why did the lawyer join a karaoke bar? They wanted to make legal briefs sound like hit songs!
34. Why did the lawyer refuse to answer their phone? They were afraid of being served with a sandwich!
35. How do you make a lawyer run for the hills? Just shout "contempt of court"!
36. Why did the lawyer go to the amusement park? They wanted to experience the thrill of the fine-line!
37. What do you call a lawyer who gets sued by their own client? A pearl necklace witness!
38. Why did the lawyer choose to go to space? They heard the laws of physics are the best defense!
39. Why do some lawyers wear gloves in the courtroom? To avoid getting finger-pointed!
40. What do you call a lawyer who moonlights as a grocery clerk? A legal checkout!
41. How do you know a lawyer has a guilty conscience? They always duck behind the bar!
42. Why did the lawyer get reprimanded by the judge? They were caught trying to give their testimony a spin!
43. Why did the lawyer get lost in the desert? They forgot to bring their Bill of Rights!
44. Why do some lawyers hand out candies in court? To sweeten the judge's verdict!
45. What do you call a lawyer who hikes up a mountain? A legal peak performance!
46. Why did the lawyer sign up for a dance class? They wanted to make legal moves!
47. How do you make a lawyer cry? Just show them a touching closing argument!
48. Why did the lawyer take up pottery? They finally found a purpose for torts and contracts!
49. Why did the lawyer become a magician? They discovered a way to make legal fees vanish!
50. What do you call a lawyer who takes their dog to court? A writ of barking!