PHILOSOPHICAL RIDDLES

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Riddles and Answers © 2024

Going To St. Ives

Hint:
One. As John McClane learns, this is a classic trick question. If the narrator meets the group on the way to St. Ives, then they must be going in the opposite direction and the math calculations are simply a bit of trickery meant to misdirect.
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The Quietest Whimper

Hint:
An actor
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Unwilling To Kiss

Hint:
A spider.
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An Island That Has 3 Gods

Hint:
Question 1: (To any of the three gods) If I were to ask you "Is that the random god," would your answer be "ja?" (This questions, no matter the answer, will enable you to tell which god is not random i.e. the god who is either False or True)

Question 2: (To either the True or False god) If I asked you "are you false," would your answer be "ja?"

Question 3: (To the same god you asked the second question) If I asked you "whether the first god I spoke to is random," would your answer be "ja?"
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Chicken Or The Egg

Hint:
Evolution would have to say it was the egg that came first because the modern chicken (MC= Modern Chicken) would have evolved from the ancient pre-historical semi-chicken-like dinosaur (AC= Ancient Chicken). Yet by logic, then that AC came before the egg. But what brought that? An older dinosaur most likely. But what brought that?
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An Absentminded Philosopher Riddle

Hint: We can assume that the journey to his friend's and back took exactly the same amount of time.
He Philosopher winds the grandfather clock to a random time right before leaving, 9:00 for example. Although this is not the right time, the clock can now be used to measure elapsed time. As soon as he arrives at his friend's house, the Philosopher looks at the time on his friend's clock. Let's say the time is 7:15. He stays overnight and then, before leaving in the morning, he looks at the clock one more time. Let's say the time is now 10:15 (15 hours later). When the Philosopher arrives home, he looks at his grandfather clock. Let's say his clock reads 12:40. By subtracting the time he set it to when he left (9:00) from the current time (12:40) he knows that he has been gone for 15 hours and 40 minutes. He knows that he spent 15 hours at his friends house, so that means he spent 40 minutes walking. Since he walked at the same speed both ways, it took him 20 minutes to walk from his friend's home back to his place. So the correct time to set the clock to in this example would therefore be 10:15 (the time he left his friend's house) + 20 minutes (the time it took him to walk home) = 10:35.
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5 Houses Riddle

Hint:
The German
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Doorway To Heaven

Hint:
If I asked the other guardian which door leads to heaven, what would he tell me?
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What Is Caught And Kept Riddle

Hint:
Lice
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White Horses Riddle

Hint:
Teeth.
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Sumer House Riddle

Hint:
A school.
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Prohibited Chess Riddle

Hint:
Chess.
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Ruins Town Riddle

Hint:
Time.
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Walking On Four Legs

Hint:
A Human. As an infant, a man crawls on 4 legs; as an adult he walks on two legs and as an elderly citizen he walks with a cane hence the three legs.
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Writing Desk

Hint:
Because neither is ever approached without caws.
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Post Your Philosophical Riddles Puns Below

Can you come up with a cool, funny or clever Philosophical Riddles of your own? Post it below (without the answer) to see if you can stump our users.

1. Why did Nietzsche refuse to go on a cruise? Because he feared it would be too sea-inducing.

2. Descartes walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks, "Would you like a glass with that, or are you not quite sure yet?"

3. How many existentialists does it take to change a light bulb? None, they prefer to sit in the dark and ponder its meaninglessness.

4. What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? "Make me one with everything."

5. Why did Kant wear sunglasses? Because he didn't want his actions to become a mere means to an end.

6. Why did Sartre break up with his girlfriend? Because he realized she was just a being-for-others.

7. What do you call an Austrian philosopher who loves to fish? Friedrich "Nietzschy" Rod.

8. Why did the Stoic philosopher refuse to share his umbrella? Because he believed in facing the rain with equanimity.

9. How many Hegelians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, one to screw in the bulb and another to negate it.

10. What's the difference between a postmodernist and a whale? One is a creature that constantly deconstructs its own existence, and the other is a fish.

11. Why did the skeptic refuse the invite to dinner? He couldn't be certain it was a real invitation.

12. Why did the deconstructionist refuse to use punctuation? To subvert the hierarchy of language.

13. How many Freudians does it take to change a light bulb? Two, one to screw it in and another to explain how it's really a phallic symbol.

14. Why did the philosopher take a day off from work? He was contemplating his existence within the context of his cubicle.

15. Why did the existentialist cross the road? To confront the absurdity of his own existence.

16. How many existentialists does it take to change a tire? None, they're too busy considering the futility of transportation.

17. Why did the nihilist refuse to pay for his coffee? Because he saw no objective value in currency.

18. What did the Stoic say to the rock that hit him? "Thank you for the opportunity to practice endurance."

19. Why did the philosopher start a social media account? To share his deepest thoughts with the world, 280 characters at a time.

20. How many Heideggerians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they prefer the comfort of darkness.

21. Why did the existentialist refuse to take a shower? Because cleanliness is just a social construct.

22. What do you call a philosopher who's always late? An existentialist, because time is arbitrary.

23. Why did the skeptic refuse to believe in the existence of the universe? Because he couldn't prove it wasn't just a dream.

24. How many deconstructionists does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they prefer to question the very concept of light.

25. Why did the Buddhist refuse to kill bugs in his house? Because he believed in non-violence and reincarnation.

26. What did the pessimist say to the optimist? "I'm not saying things can't get better, I'm just saying they probably won't."

27. Why did the existentialist refuse to use emojis? Because they reduce complex emotions to simplistic images.

28. How many logicians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they prefer to describe the necessary conditions for light bulb changes.

29. Why did the philosopher refuse to eat meat? Because he believed in treating all living beings with respect and compassion.

30. What do you call a philosopher who's also a magician? A Socrates-pocus.

31. Why did the Stoic philosopher refuse to get mad at his rude neighbor? Because anger only harms the one who feels it.

32. Why did the existentialist refuse to go to a party? Because he feared his presence would only reinforce the absurdity of existence.

33. What did the existentialist say to the man who asked him for the meaning of life? "What do you think it is?"

34. How many Kantians does it take to change a light bulb? One, as long as changing the bulb is a universal duty.

35. Why did the Nietzschean philosopher refuse to wear shoes? Because he believed in the importance of overcoming pain.

36. What do you call a Buddhist philosopher who's also a lawyer? A Dalai Litigator.

37. Why did the philosopher refuse to eat junk food? Because he believed in nourishing both body and mind.

38. Why did the existentialist refuse to laugh at a joke? Because humor only masks the underlying absurdity of existence.

39. How many nihilists does it take to change a light bulb? None, because nothing matters.

40. Why did the philosopher refuse to own a car? Because he believed in living modestly and minimizing his ecological footprint.

41. Why did the Stoic say "no thanks" to dessert? Because he believed in practicing self-control.

42. What did the existentialist say to the bird perched on his windowsill? "Tweet as if each chirp were your last."

43. How many phenomenologists does it take to change a light bulb? One, as long as the experience of the light bulb is analyzed in great detail first.

44. Why did the existentialist refuse to get a job? Because he feared it would compromise his authenticity.

45. Why did the philosopher refuse to take sides in an argument? Because he believed in exploring all perspectives and finding common ground.

46. What do you call a Nietzschean philosopher who's also a musician? A Zarathustra-rapper.

47. Why did the Stoic refuse to complain about the weather? Because he believed in accepting things as they are.

48. What did the existentialist say to the tree in his backyard? "Grow, even if it's futile."

49. How many objectivists does it take to change a light bulb? None, because the light bulb is better off without their interference.

50. Why did the philosopher refuse to buy expensive clothes? Because he believed in prioritizing substance over style.
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