MORBID RIDDLES

I used to have a little brother. The only memory I have of him is when I used share the boiled sweets I bought at the shop with him. My little brother still lives on in our hearts, even though he was only one month old when he died. I still miss him.

What happened to his little brother?

A woman is walking suddenly a thief comes and kills her takes her cellphone watch and purse. What did the thief take first?

There is a school shooting, to keep the kids safe the teachers gather the kids in the corner and turned off the lights. What did the teacher forget to do?

What happened to the plastic surgeon as he sat by the fire on a cold winter night?

What did the cannibal do when he saw an "All you can eat" restaurant?

There is a kind of fish that can never swim. What is that?

As I went over London Bridge
I met my sister Jenny
I broke her neck and drank her blood
And left her standing empty

Who is Jenny?

I was carried into a dark room, and set on fire. I wept, and then my head was cut off. What am I?

What does Princess Diana and a bottle of French wine have in common?

He comes to bedsides, icy bridges,
battlefronts, and crumbling ridges.
When he comes, he comes alone,
taps a shoulder, then is gone.

A woman and a man go on a date. While on their date, the woman shoots the man, drowns the man, and hangs the man. the next night, the same man and woman go on a date and both of them are 100% fine. how is this possible?

My wife was attacked by a burglar when I was on my way home from work. She stabbed him with a butcher knife and killed him. The police say it was an obvious case of self-defense. When I went to pick her up from the police station, she said. - "When I heard the doorbell I thought it was you, but then a masked man jumped me as soon as I opened the door!" - "You must have been so scared" - I said - "But you're safe now" - I hugged her tightly.

How did she kill the burglar so fast when he attacked her at the door?

My job means I'm always on a train. I was on the train again today when, suddenly a woman appeared in front of me. I can remember her face clearly. It's really depressing.

Who was this mysterious woman?

When lawyers die, why don't vultures eat them?

What do you call a man with a double decker bus on his head?

Can you come up with a cool, funny or clever Morbid Riddles of your own? Post it below (without the answer) to see if you can stump our users.

1. Why was the funeral director so popular? He knew how to put his coffin to use.

2. Why did the skeleton refuse to dance? It had no body to move with.

3. What do you call a group of crows at a cemetery? A funeral murder.

4. Why did the ghost break up with his girlfriend? She was too transparent.

5. Why did the mummy always have trouble talking? It kept getting wrapped up in its words.

6. Why did the vampire refuse to eat garlic? It was afraid of catching Italian.

7. Why did the zombie cross the road? To get to the other side, of course.

8. What do you give a burn victim for their birthday? A cake with extra candles.

9. Why did the ghost go to the bar? To get a spirit.

10. Why did the werewolf go to the hair salon? It wanted a full moon haircut.

11. Why did the skeleton lose its mind? It couldn't keep its head on straight.

12. Why did the witch refuse to use the broomstick? It was a stickler for cleanliness.

13. Why did the undertaker take up gardening? To cultivate his grave business.

14. Why did the zombie quit his job as a mailman? It couldn't stop biting the hand that feeds it.

15. Why did the ghost raise a family of ghosts? They were all of its own apparition.

16. Why did the vampire switch to a vegan diet? It wanted to suck on something other than blood oranges.

17. Why did the skeleton skip the party? It had no body to dance with.

18. Why did the witch take up knitting? It wanted to weave its own spells.

19. Why did the mummy quit its job as a waiter? It couldn't stop wrapping the wrong orders.

20. Why did the ghost resign as CEO? It realized it was not a living entity.

21. Why did the zombie get fired from NASA? It kept eating the astronauts.

22. Why did the werewolf attend a yoga class? It wanted to get in touch with its inner beast.

23. Why did the skeleton join a bike gang? It wanted to put its skull to use as a helmet.

24. Why did the witch become a landlord? She wanted to put a spell on her tenants.

25. Why did the ghost take a baking class? It wanted to learn how to make spectral cookies.

26. Why did the vampire become a stand-up comedian? It wanted to take a bite out of the stage.

27. Why did the mummy refuse to donate its organs? It was all wrapped up in itself.

28. Why did the skeleton quit its job as a DJ? It couldn't keep its rhythm in check.

29. Why did the witch fail in the stock market? She put too many spells on her portfolio.

30. Why did the ghost refuse to leave the house? It was too hauntingly beautiful.

31. Why did the zombie go to graphics school? It wanted to perfect its brain-hungry logo design.

32. Why did the werewolf join a choir? It wanted to learn how to howl in harmony.

33. Why did the skeleton open a gym franchise? It wanted to promote healthy bones.

34. Why did the vampire fail as a dentist? It kept sucking on the patients' veins instead of teeth.

35. Why did the mummy become a politician? It knew how to wrap up a good debate.

36. Why did the ghost become a computer programmer? It wanted to learn how to haunt the web.

37. Why did the zombie become a chemist? It wanted to develop a formula for un-decomposing.

38. Why did the witch flunk culinary school? She kept using eye of newt as an ingredient.

39. Why did the skeleton become a chef? It wanted to cook some spine-tingling dishes.

40. Why did the vampire switch to a liquid diet? It wanted to stay classy with its Bloody Marys.

41. Why did the mummy buy a boat? It wanted to sail the Nile in style.

42. Why did the ghost join a book club? It wanted to keep its spirit of knowledge alive.

43. Why did the zombie get upset at the library? It couldn't find any brains to borrow.

44. Why did the werewolf become a park ranger? It wanted to howl at the moon in a more natural setting.

45. Why did the skeleton become a fortune teller? It knew how to read between the bones.

46. Why did the witch start a fashion brand? She knew how to bewitch the runway.

47. Why did the ghost write a memoir? It wanted to share its spectral story with the world.

48. Why did the vampire become a lifeguard? It was a natural at water-to-blood transfusions.

49. Why did the mummy take up martial arts? It wanted to be able to unwrap a can of whoop-ass.

50. Why did the zombie become a sports commentator? It could smell the action on the field.